Dust in our souls….

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  It was 1st of May. Humid and warm.
  The fan seemed to be blowing weak on such a warm and humid day.
  I looked at the fan and realised that the fan cover and blades were covered with a thick layer of dust. Hence I decided to clean all the wall fans in my house.
  I began with the first fan from the master bedroom, and dismantled the cover, the blades and other accessories. And I thought to myself why would the fan accumulate some much dust, and why would this cause the fan to feel so weak.
  As I washed the fan covers, I watched how the accumulated dust were being washed onto the toilet floor, my thoughts began to wander in the quiet house. It was just a short within minutes and the covers and fan blades were cleaned. But they were no longer what they were when I first bought the fan.
  Then it just came to my mind that a fan that is not maintained is like a soul that is not cleansed, as we live day by day in this mortal world. I can imagine how much dust and filth we have accumulated in our souls, causing them to conceal the good side of all human beings.
  As we work in a hectic and lustful world, we have always allowed many things to occupy our souls, and never had the time to cleanse them. This resulted in our souls becoming filthy, just like the fans that were not cleaned.
  Someone has been telling me this: you are lost the moment you care. It is a wise statement. As we allow ourselves to pursue material and emotional enjoyment, we have inevitably allowed these lust and greed to fill our souls. We then feel painful when we cannot get what we want, and feel remorseful when we lose something that are close to our hearts.
  Our souls have been accumulated with our lust and greed daily and causing most of us to be unhappy in this life.
  Isn’t that the truth in relationships, as we allowed filth and dust to come in between two person. In reality, we don’t even know how to maintain work life balance, let alone spending time to maintain our relationships with others. More of then than not, we will be engulfed by all these filth and dust and affect our relationship with each other, which causes 2 person to be further apart. And the end result is: we will then be blinded and forgotten what has brought us together right from the start.
  Buddha has siad: “Only if your heart is empty, then can it contain everything in this world.” This is also a wise statement. But to attain that is never easy. To empty our souls, it means to let go of all our lust and greed, cleanse all of them from the heart and soul, so that we can be happy. But pursuing happiness in itself is yet another greed.
  I have always felt frustrated looking at the mess in my house and I can’t understand why I just can’t seem to clean them up and make the house looks neat and tidy. In reality, we have had too many things that we don’t really need, and we have always fallen into the trap of greed, buying things that either we put aside or use only once or twice. And then they will start to accumulate dust.
  Our souls are like a room that we keep in our hearts and we have let them be filled with many unnecessary stuffs in this flowery and lustful world, be them good or bad. We have never filtered what goes in and forgotten to cleanse them regularly.
  All these unnecessary stuffs will eventually form clots of dust and eat into our souls and we begin to feel unhappy about this world, and sometimes even hatred.
  But how many people can really let go of their lust and greed. Human beings feel painful because they have not cleansed the dirt that breed in our soul, and many a times, we have failed to let go of many things. The result is a filthy soul that becomes selfish.
  Because of a filthy soul, we are unable to see the good side of others;
  Because of a filthy soul, we fail to listen to the true voice of others;
  Because of a filthy soul, we cannot feel what help others really need from us;
  Because of a filthy soul, we can only see our own greed;
  Because of a filthy soul, we are like the fans that were not cleaned, and however hard they try, they will never be able to blow like what they used to do when they were first bought.
  I’ve always thought that I’ve a heart broad enough to let go of many materialistic stuffs, but never thought that my feelings are what I hold on dearly.
  When we let our emotions take over us, we become selfish. Hence, we have added an invisible pressure on the other parties and expect what we should not expect. And all we can see is the pain that we are going through and neglected what the other parties are going through.
  Learning to cleanse my soul and learning to how to be magnanimous is of ultimate importance in life’s learning. Often, people need silent companionship and blessings as compared to words of care and guidance. True concern from the heart is always better than a thousand words of care in this world. As Buddha has said: Caring and giving blessings silently is yet another type of giving.
  I believe that I used to have a heart filled with sincerity and clear as water. I reached out my hands when my friends were troubled and lent them my listening ears. However, I have also forgotten that pain is short lived and my friends will not need my company when their directions became clear.
  I’m a loner. Yet I have never make full use of it and cleanse my soul when I was alone, and give myself a clean soul.
  I have been asking myself what value do I bring to this world. I have also believed that I’m here in this world to bring warmth to my loved ones and offer my deepest love.
  I have always like this song by the popular China rock singer, Wang Feng and the song title is “Exist”. I can always resonate with this song.
  多少人走着,却困在原地
  Many people are moving but yet they are stuck at the same place
  多少人活着,却如同死去
  Many people are alive, but live life as if they are dead
  多少人爱着,却好似分离
  Many people have loved but yet they are like separated
  多少人笑着,却满含泪滴
  Many people are laughing but tears swell their eyes
  谁知道我们,该去向何处
  Who knows where our destinies are
  谁明白生命,已变为何物
  Who knows what life has become
  是否找个借口,继续苟活
  Should we find an excuse and live life aimlessly
  或是展翅高飞,保持愤怒
  Or should we soar to the sky and continue to be angry
  我该如何存在……
  How should I exist in this world
  多少次荣耀,却感觉屈辱
  There are many glories behind all the shameful
  多少次狂喜,却倍受痛楚
  There are many pains behind the happiness that we see
  多少次幸福,却心如刀绞
  There are many heartaches though we seemed blessed
  多少次灿烂,却失魂落魄
  There are many lost souls in the midst of all effulgence
  谁知道我们,该梦归何处
  Who know where our dreams are
  谁明白尊严,已沦为何物
  Who knows what our pride has become
  是否找个理由,随波逐流
  Should we find a reason and flow with the river
  或是勇敢前行,挣脱牢笼
  Or should we be brave and escape from the cage
  我该如何存在……
  How should I exist in this world?
  There are too many lost souls in this world, as we allowed all the daily experiences accumulate and created a layer of dust in our souls. We can’t see what’s right in front of us, let alone knowing that people around us need our understanding and blessings.
  I hope to be the silvery moon, shining the path when my friends fall into darkness, provide them warmth with my caress and give them my blessings. It doesn’t matter if the path ahead is rocky, it doesn’t matter if the journey is going to be short, it doesn’t matter even if the moon does not serve anymore purpose as their sun begins to rise.
  I hope that will be the value I bring to this world…..
  01.05.2016
  Francis Lim
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