River of Life

It was a wet day, or at least for the second part of the day.

The rain poured as expected but its furiosity was kind of scary. The thunder roared, the lightning flashed, and heavy droplets of water fell from the sky, creating splashes and ripples.

I stood along the office building corridor and watched the raindrops formed a strings of beads curtain in front of me. Crumpled memories were triggered.

And my mood, was it as solemn as the weather?

Tonight, I just want to spend some peaceful time to gather my messy thoughts and pen down my feelings.

I had a sleepless night last night, and other than silence, all I could hear was just rustle from me turning on the mattress.

Silence.

The silence was unbearable. Hence I took out my phone and listened to old recordings, indulging myself in old memories, till I fell into my world of dreams.

When I woke up and looked at the mirror, I saw a man and couldn’t recognise him. Messy hair with white and silver strands and his eyes were without soul.

I gave a sigh and said to myself: Life is short, live life as if there is no tomorrow.

During the journey to work, I was listening to Wang Feng’s [The River] repeatedly. No matter how many times I’ve listened to this song, I just won’t get sick of it, as I found myself able to resonate with the lyrics and found some truths in life.

“I’ve been searching all these years, for the river that flows in my heart”

When Wang Feng started singing this first paragraph, I was instantly attracted by the words and walked into whole song and its story.

Perhaps, every man in this world would feel lost once or twice in his life and souls who are lost will most likely resonate with this song very much.

The road was busy in the morning. Buses, cars, motorcycles were all moving, whizzing past each other, like the water in the river, flowing in the same direction. Passengers like me and all the others were moving towards the same destiny, a busy working day.

As a matter of fact, a man’s life is like a river and he is like a small boat bumping along the river. At times, he will feel lost in direction as he has forgotten to steer his sail.

In the river of life, we find ourselves going through different experiences, sometimes rocky, sometimes smooth flowing, at times we move in circles and at times the journey is straight forward. We may be met with obstacles in front of us and we have to find alternate routes and it’s all about choices. But whatever route we take, it just leads us to one common destination — death!

At certain point in times, different rivers will cross each other’s paths and eventually joined to become the big ocean, the world that we live in. Hence, people meet and go, either passing by each other, or created a sparkling story.

The river of life seems to be in our hands, but yet so much helpless that man can really feel. The only way to live happily is to control our sail properly towards the direction that we want to go.

There seems to be an unseen string that binds some of us together, which I call fate. Some people may just turn and walk away from our life, becoming strangers when we meet again, while some people will continue to be together with us, either as friends or lifetime companion.

“How much pain do we have to go through before we can get use to it, how far do we have to walk before we can go back to the starting point”

Life is full of rough patches, where there will be gains and losses, and many a times we tend to miss a lot of things, and hope that we can go back to where we came from.

That’s what this world is, full of contradictions, and yet so real. Everything in this world is relative to each other. Where there’s happiness, there’s sadness, where there’s get together, there’s departure, where there are gains, there are losses, and more often than not, we realise that we have not cherished what we have, and by then, we can only learn to cherish what we will be having.

As I was walking towards the bus stop after work one day, I saw a few foreign labourers clearing the road blocks that they have set up in the day. They looked tired but yet their dark and strong body, and their sweaty face were exuding a faint smile under the evening sun.

I felt a sudden feeling of envious arising deep from my heart, for the simple life that they are leading, and at the same time, I felt sad for them that they have to leave their hometown to earn a living. But perhaps when they look at all the office people walking along the street, their hearts would be filled with envious too, that we do not have to torture ourselves under the rain and sun.

I’ve been drifting on my own river of life for many years, passing by many beautiful moments and some darkness. Whenever I recollect all my memories, tears will start to swell at the corner of my eyes. As an emotional person, I have learned to keep and bury the past, try my best to cherish what’s left, and hope for whatever that may be possible in the future. I have walked through almost half of my river of life.

Life is truly weak and short, should our river of life be smooth sailing or should we hope for an adventurous life and face all ups and downs courageously?

11.05.2016

Francis Lim

《河流》——词曲:汪峰
<The River> — Song by Wang Feng

这么多年我竟然一直在寻找
I’ve been searching all these years
找那条流淌在心中的河流
For the river that flows in my heart
我知道也许它不在任何地方
I know it may not exist anywhere
或是就在我心底最疼痛的故乡
Or it could be in the deepest part of my heart

究竟流多少泪才能停止哭泣
How much tears do we have to shed before we can stop crying
究竟回多少头才会看到天空
How many times do we have to look back before we can see the sky
谁能告诉我那汹涌的孤独与渴望
Who can tell me whether the loneliness and wishes in my heart
是否就是我梦里永隔千里的河流
Will be the river that lives in my dream

月亮这么僵彩虹也那么迷惘
The moon is so stiff and the rainbow looks so lost
我能做的只是不悲伤不仰望
And all I can do is not to look upon the sky and feel sad
总是在最好的时刻满怀悲凉
It seems like the heart is filled with sadness when things are supposed to be good
只因为生命注定在不羁中死亡
As life is destined to move towards death

究竟受多少伤才能无视痛楚
How much pain do we have to go through before we can get use to it
究竟走多少路才会回到最初
How far do we have to walk before we can go back to the starting point
谁能告诉我那奔腾的迷惘与骄傲
Who can enlighten me whether the pride and the feeling of lost in the heart
是否就是我心底永隔一世的河流
Will be the river that lives in my heart

如同那火焰般绽放的花儿
Just like the flowers that blossom
我们被镌刻在这料峭的尘世
Our lives have been carved in this mortal world
这世界上还有什么能比那些
What else in this world
清澈的灵魂无助的抽泣更悲伤
Can be more sad than serene souls with helpless cries

究竟流多少泪才能停止哭泣
How much tears do we have to shed before we can stop crying
究竟回多少头才会看到天空
How many times do we have to look back before we can see the sky
谁能告诉我那汹涌的孤独与渴望
Who can tell me whether the loneliness and wishes in the heart
是否就是我梦里永隔千里的河流
Will be the river that lives in my dream

究竟受多少伤才能无视痛楚
How much pain do we have to go through before we can get use to it
究竟走多少路才会回到最初
How far do we have to walk before we can go back to the starting point
谁能告诉我那奔腾的迷惘与骄傲
Who can enlighten me whether the pride and the feeling of lost
是否就是我心底永隔一世的河流
Will be the river that lives in my heart

是否就是我梦里永隔千里的河流
Are they the river that lives in my dream

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