云淡风轻 / Innerpeace

 

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(English version below)

不知何故,一开始便很喜欢这张照片。

那一天是星期天,也是我和家人在泰国的最后一天。

当我们坐在酒店的大厅等着司机来接我们去机场的时候,忽然就想要为自己留下一张照片可以送给朋友们。

于是,我调整好了相机,便要柔儿为我捕捉那一刻的心情,却想不到会有如此意外的收获。

当我编辑这张照片的时候,我就对它有一份莫名的喜爱,感觉自己似乎变了许多,却又不知道究竟是哪里有所不同。

是那一头极短极短的头发让我看上去焕然一新吗?还是那刚刚剃得干干净净的胡须让我看起来不那么邋遢?抑或是几日来悠哉闲哉的假日让我心情轻松了下来?

我仔细的望着照片里的自己,望着那一抹淡淡的笑容,感觉很亲切,很自在。

于是,编辑后我毫不犹豫地把这张照片都设置成我的所有头像以及手机背景。

后来,我把照片发给了一些好友,却引来芊芊这样对我说:“哥的笑容中显示着云淡风轻。”

“啊!”我的心里禁不住地欢呼,“这就是了!云淡风轻!”

一时之间,热泪涌上了我的双眸,顷刻间我完全的明白了。原来,我已经好久好久没有看到自己脸上绽放这样的祥和与自在,而曾经在我脸上的那股愁云似乎全都散开了!这就是我很喜欢这张照片的原因了!

这些日子来,我从不间断地阅读佛教、禅修以及自我提升的书籍。开始了学习更自私地爱我自己之后,我日以继夜地不断寻找自我。

不管是坐禅也好,站桩也罢,不论是坐着思考,或是行走冥想,我从未放弃过去探索自己的内在,即便是在旅游期间,我仍然没有忘记早晨的站桩,以及临睡前的坐禅。

就这样,我逐步逐步地去实践自己的珍爱计划,曾经的郁闷虽然不敢说一扫而空,却已渐渐地放下了。

现在,望着照片里我脸上的那一份安详,感觉就像是一片云般淡淡然地体会生活,像一阵风般轻盈盈地追逐生命,我知道我正在向光明处前进……

20.12.2016

文/林顺源

For whatever reason, I love this picture of mine the moment I saw it.

It was a Sunday, the last day of our Bangkok trip in Thailand.

As we were waiting in the hotel lobby for the driver to pick us to the airport, I had a sudden urge to take a picture of myself so that I can send it to my friends.

I looked for the right spot, made the necessary adjustments and then requested Charlene to snap the camera, never to realise that I had an unexpected moment.

When I started to edit this picture, I couldn’t help it but felt satisfied and loved this picture as I noticed something different about me but did not know where and what.

Was it the short crew cut that I have wanted for a long time that made me looked neat and tidy? Or was it the the clean look after the morning shave? Or was it the holidays that has relaxed my mind?

I looked at myself closely, examined every feature and noticed the smile that was so natural and amiable. I love it so much that I decided to use this as my profile picture for all my social networks and even as my wallpaper on my iPhone.

Then I sent this photo to a couple of my friends and one of them told me this: “Brother, you looked peaceful…”

“Ah!” I thought to myself, “Yes, that’s it! Peaceful!”

Suddenly I felt tears rushing to my eyes, for I now understood why I love this photo so much. It has been a long time since I had seen such a peaceful and carefree smile on my face! My usual unhappiness and tiredness displayed on my face were gone.

For the past weeks, I have been doing a lot of readings on Buddhism, meditation and self improvement. And ever since I have decided to be “selfish” and live for myself, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, be it meditation or just deep thoughts.

And as I began to work on my Project L.O.V.E, I begin to let go of many things, including all my disappointments and worries.

As I looked at my own photo and observed the innerpeace written on my smile, I know that I am moving in the right direction which I call the path of light……

20.12.2016

Francis Lim

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