English version below……
As I sent her away, I took a cab home. With the thought that we will not meet again, I felt solemn. This friendship came out of nowhere and now will go to nowhere. It is something that I am beginning to lose.
When my destination was near, I took out my wallet for the cab fare, and cautioned the taxi driver to look out for any traffic police along the road which I wanted to alight. I’ve seen too many officers standing there catching traffic offenders.
After alighting from the cab, still with a heavy heart, I watched the cab zooming away, noticing how it has become smaller and smaller, before I realised that my hands were empty! I frantically searched my pockets and my bag but my wallet was nowhere to be found. I knew I must have left it on my lap while paying the cab fare and dropped it in the cab while alighting.
I panicked and looked around. Coincidentally, another empty cab stopped at the traffic light, waiting for green light. I rushed into the cab and briefly told the driver what has happened and requested him to help me chase the other cab.
But soon I was faced with a huge challenge, I did not know the car plate of the first cab that I took, and all I can remember was that it was a yellow top cab. And unfortunately, yellow top cabs do not belong to any operator now and there was nowhere I could call the control tower to look for the cabby.
The driver was driving aimlessly around, helping me to look out for any yellow top cab. He was a patient and nice guy. While I kept apologising to him for causing inconvenience, he smiled and advised me to report to police since we can’t find the yellow top cab. He also reminded me to cancel all my credit cards upon reaching home.
After a while, I gave up the hope of finding the yellow top cab and instructed the second cab driver to turn back and drop me where I was. I was then faced with a second problem, since I have lost my wallet, it meant that I didn’t have any cash with me. I couldn’t even pay by cards. I tried to dig for coins in my pockets and bag and managed to find some, but not sure if they were enough.
Fortunately, I was lucky to have met a kind soul as he smiled to me and said: “It’s ok. This is not what you wanted too. Just pay me whatever you have.”
I felt thankful and also hopeful that this world is beautiful after all.
On the journey back, my thoughts began to settle and I realised that all the mindfulness and meditation that I’ve been doing for the past few months have not had any effect on me. I was like a lost soul with full of attachment to material stuffs in this world.
I could have taken it easier and calmed myself down. But I failed to do so.
Having said that, I acknowledged that it was my own fault and has nothing to do with mindfulness or meditation. I believe that I’ve not practised enough. At the same time, I was hopeful that it was just a “boo boo” that I’ve created out of nothing. I hoped that the wallet could have dropped along the curb where the first cab stopped.
When the cab finally came to a stop, I paid the fare (luckily I had enough of coins) and alighted.
Standing by the road, I closed my eyes and recalled as much as I could where was the exact place where I alighted from the first cab and walked towards that location. My heart was beating fast, and I searched the location with my eyes from afar.
Then I saw a black object lying near the curb in the grass patch. I hurried forward and there it was, the wallet that I thought I have lost! It was really a “boo boo” at my end! I have run around searching for something when it was just beside me!
With tears in my eyes, I lifted my head and looked at the gloomy sky and said: “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
My wallet has been lost and found, and this incident led me to be aware that my practice so far has been “useless” to me, for I have forgotten to be mindful and make use of breathing to calm myself down. If I have had done so, I could have noticed that my wallet was just lying on the ground beside me!
Material attachment has been in my heart and soul for years. And I’ve been trying my best to practise mindfulness to let go of all these, for I believe that they are the cause to all sufferings. But it isn’t as easy as I think. While I do not hold my hands too tightly anymore, I have yet to open them up fully so that I can embrace the whole universe.
Before I headed home, to the gloomy sky I prayed and wished that my friend will be blessed and that she will cross all obstacles that lay in front of her….