我相信,他会醒过来的…… / I believe, he will recover……

English version below…

夜。
窗外烟雾弥漫,走在街上偶尔都会闻到一股焦味,提醒着我阴历7月已经来到我的跟前。
这是很平常的一个晚上,窗外依然是万家灯火,道路上依然是车水马龙,没有繁星,只有一层层的红霞偶尔映入我的眼帘。
地球依然在转。
可是,在这个红点的某个角落,他却静静地卧在床上,双眼紧闭,胸膛起伏,呼吸着,却无视于他人的担忧与悲伤。
2017年8月17日的早上,手机屏幕忽然出现惊人的信息,说他陷入昏迷状态,被送进了加护病房。
说实在的,我很不喜欢去医院,因为那里的气氛有时真的让我感到窒息。有时看见医务人员那种麻木的表情,想起他们因为司空见惯而仿佛变成铁石心肠,我会感到心里微微颤抖。
还记得那天在医院当我静静望着他的时候,我的心是无法平静的,而后在贴板上看到他孩子写的字条,眼眶更是忍不住地被浸湿了。
那张字条写着类似”爸爸,醒来吧,我们在等你……“的心语。
虽然我和他之间没有深厚的交情,时而想起还会觉得他是我生命中擦肩而过的过客,但是毕竟我们日日见面,也算是我生活中的一部分了。
清晰地记得三个星期前的一个星期六,我一个人回到公司去练习乒乓,惊见他也在单位里,于是随口问他回来干嘛,他却说有些工作赶着要交。
在我练习完之后,他还没走。
我临走之前很诚恳地对他说:”十多年前我也和你一样,很勤奋,天天做工,夜夜回复邮件,但是后来却发现我因此而失去了许多许多,所以现在的我,已经学会如何放慢我的脚步了。”
我劝他赶紧回家,该休息时就休息吧。
部门领导知道我有静坐的习惯,于是就问了我会否会在冥想时为他祈祷。
我的答复很简单:“他会醒来的……”
于是,冥想的时候,我尽量在脑海里放映他归来的画面,而我,以及其他的同事,都看见他从玻璃门走入。
我门个个张开双手,迎接他,给了他一个拥抱!
是的,我确实是这样冥想的。与其带着一份患得患失的心情去为他祈祷,我选择了去相信他会醒来的。
此后,我就一直在脑海里播放同样的画面。
每当其他部门的同事向我打听详情,我却支支吾吾地不知所云,确切的状况到底是怎么回事,我也没有多问。
其实,我不想问,也不想知道,因为这对于我来说是多余的。我觉得我们大家真正应该做的是相信他会醒来的,而不是问:“到底发生了什么事?为何是这样?根源是什么?“
追根究底重要吗?能否助他醒来呢?
或许这件事故给了我们一个警惕,提醒着我们世事真的难以预料,今天生龙活虎的一个人,明天或许就与我们阴阳相隔。因此我们必须学习且行且珍惜。
印象中,他是一个“好好先生”,不论多忙都好,问他东西,或是要求他帮忙,他总是“OK”,没有二话!谁说好人会有好报?
但是我不愿这样子的悲观下去,诚如国强说的:“我相信报应,只是时辰未到……”。我情愿相信他会得到好报,只要时辰到了,他就会醒来了!
那天,Mark在探望他之后在群里发了信息,向大家报告最新情况,于是同事们个个都发了双掌合十的表情,以示祈祷。我则一如既往地与众人不同,发了一句:“他会醒来的。只要我们集体相信他会醒来的,他就一定会醒来的。”
我相信这个宇宙有一股无形的力量在操控我们的生命,而我们的意识若是足够坚强,定能将这股力量变成我们的利器,供我们使用。
于是,我一直在心里默默对他说:”Alex,我们公司见!“
22.08.2017
文/林顺源

 

Nightfall.
Ashes and smoke filled the air and it reminded me that the 7th month of the Lunar calendar has once again knocked on our doors.
It is just another normal evening. The concrete jungle has lighted up, cars, motorcycles, buses whizzing along the road. There is no star as usual, but just a few clouds passing by my windows.
The earth is still revolving.
But in a corner of this little red dot, there he lies on the bed in silence, eyes tightly closed, and his chest expanding and contracting with every breath. He is ignorant of all the worries around him.
It was 17 August 2017 morning when a shocking message appeared on my mobile phone, informing all of us that he has been admitted into ICU and is unconscious.
Honestly, i dislike going to the hospital as the atmosphere can be suffocating at times. When I witness how the hospital staffs behave “coldly” due to their getting use of seeing life and deaths, I feel upset.
That day, as I looked at him lying on the bed, my heart wasn’t peaceful. And tears gathered in my eyes when I saw what his child has written on the notice board. It was something like:”Daddy, please wake up, we are waiting for you.”
While he and I are not very close to each other, but the fact that we see each other almost everyday, he has become part of my life.
And I can clearly recalled one Saturday about three weeks ago, when I went back to the office to practice Table Tennis. I was surprised to see him in the office and causally asked what was he doing then.
He said he has some work to clear.
He hadn’t left when I finished my training. And before I left, I said to him sincerely: “Many years ago, I was like you, working day and night. But one day, I realised that I’ve lost more than what I thought. And therefore, I have learned to slow down my pace and enjoy while I can.”
I advised him to go home and rest while he can.
Lee Heng knows that I have the habit of meditating daily and so he asked will I pray for him during my meditation.
My reply to him was simple: “He will recover…”
On that night, I meditated with picture of him walking into the office, and we are all there with our arms opened wide and give him a warm hug.
That was exactly what I did. Instead of praying for him and hoping for the best, I choose to believe he will recover.
Since then, I’ve been replaying the same picture in my mind.
News spread and some colleagues from other department asked me about his condition. I was kind of lack of information as I do not know much too.
To be exact, I do not wish to ask or know too much, because it seems to be irrelevant to me. I feel that we should all believe that he will recover and not ask: “what happened? Why? What’s the root cause?”
Does it really matter and will that help him recover?
Perhaps what has happened to him is a warning to all of us, that life is indeed unpredictable. Today may be the last day we will see the sunrise, and hence we should learn to cherish what we do have now.
As far as I can recall, he has been a Mr Nice Guy, for I’ve not seen him rejecting anyone before, no matter how busy he is.
So what has happened to the belief that says good deeds will get good returns?
Again, I choose not to be too pessimistic. Just like what KK has always said: “Karma exists, it’s just that time is not ripe yet.”.
So I believe that he will receive his good returns and recover soon, when the time comes, he will wake up.
That day, Mark sent an update in the chat group after visiting him in the hospital. And many of them started to send the prayer emoticon. And as usual, I said: “He will recover! We all must believe that he will recover… with the united beliefs, he will recover soon!”
I believe that there is an invisible force in this universe that controls everything. And if our wills are strong enough, we can make use of this force to our benefits.
And therefore, I’ve saying this in my heart to him: “Alex, see you in the office!”
22.08.2017
Francis Lim

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