Suddenly I realised, it all starts from zero again.
As I walked towards the park on Sunday evening, the night began to fall, and the almost rounded moon was slowly crawling up in the sky.
I looked at it, and within my heart, I was hoping for something to happen. I waited and waited, till the sky was totally dark and the moon became brighter, nothing has happened.
Disappointment filled my heart and I began to accept reality and sometimes reality is cruel. But no matter how cruel it was, I have to accept and let go. And I reminded myself that sometimes there are things that we don’t know and will never know.
It was a full moon on Monday night when I alighted from the bus near my house. The sky was clear with the moon shining proudly and brightened the sky.
I looked at the moon, and fell into deep thoughts. Then it just daunted on me that all the things that I have learned for the past two years have been reset to zero.
The healing process, calming of the mind and the heart, the chantings and the meditations have been reset to zero, especially my mindfulness and the way I observe my inner thoughts. They have been forgotten with the spate of things that have happened within my mind.
Relationships, work, knowledge and many other things suddenly seem to be so far away beyond my reach. All the hard work, the efforts put in, the love and everything else are no longer there.
It’s not the same anymore, I told myself.
It’s been reset to zero, I told myself.
And why is that so? Because I’ve taken all these for granted. I have come to realise that the moment we stop practising, everything resets to zero.
I picked up the same book that brought me to the path of seeking enlightenment and started reading again.
Those words are so familiar but I’ve forgotten them so quickly.
I start from zero again… and it’s a new journey for me.