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Thoughts from the passing rain / 那一阵雨挑起的思绪

Afternoon, as I lay on the bed, I heard splattering noise outside the windows.

I got up and looked out.

And witnessed the huge rain drops falling from the sky.

The rain drops were so big that I could see them individually;

The rhythm of the rain was unrhythmic.

But the sun has not given up shining on the land.

Half of the sky was covered with a blanket of dark gloomy clouds, and half of it was filled with sporadic clouds in different shapes.

I searched through the sky, hoping to find the rainbows which was nowhere to be seen.

It was just a passing rain, that didn’t manage to wet the whole land.

Then I had the sudden urge to get out of this house with four walls. And so I slipped into my shirt, grabbed my sling bag and rushed out of the house.

I came to the coffee shop, ordered a coffee and began to write this note down.

Prior to lying on the bed, I edited a photo and put a quote to it: “When we waste time getting upset over people who don’t care about us or appreciate us at all, we neglected those who love us for who we are—LTTF”.

And as I recalled the mood I was in when editing the photo, I was feeling slightly moody, thinking that too many people are wasting their time on people and things that aren’t important to them.

Two days ago, my best friend told me that she was upset over some remarks from one of her friends and needed two days to calm down. I guessed he must be her close friend who could affect her so much. Or is he?

Many a times, we feel sad, upset, angry and annoyed over some people, not knowing that those who truly care and love us are waiting for us to care and love them back, and yet we put our focus on those people who upset us.

Do we really know how to prioritise our feelings and life, I wonder. And I’m one of the culprits.

Perhaps, I should also think about who are the ones who truly care about me. Or perhaps I should really let go of everything and pursue liberation.

I am lost again.

04.11.2018

Francis Lim

午后,躺在床上神游时,忽然听见噼里啪啦的声响。

于是,起身,眺望。

原来天空正撒下豆大的雨点,密密麻麻地往下坠落。

雨点,清晰可见;

雨声,杂乱无章;

而阳光,仍然未曾退却。

蔚蓝的天空,一半是一整片的乌云,另一半却是如棉似絮地结伴同行,阳光,便穿越缝隙,撒向大地。

极力眺望,盼能够捕捉到彩虹的足迹,然而经常不期而遇的它未曾展现它的绚丽。

那不过是一阵偶然坠落的雨水,两三分钟后,雨便停了,连陆地也未曾完全打湿。

忽然之间,好想逃离这个四面是墙的屋子。

于是,穿了衣服,拿了背包,来到了咖啡店品尝咖啡,更写下了这一篇不知所谓的心语。

之前,在手机上编辑照片,写下了“When we waste time getting upset over people who don’t care about us or appreciate us at all, we neglected those who love us for who we are—LTTF”。

回想写这小段文字的时候,心情有些落寞,感觉世间许多人都在浪费时间,把一些无关重要的人、事、物放在心上。

前天,挚友对我说她因为一个朋友的一些语言而难过,需要两天才能平抚心情,我想那一定是对她很重要的朋友吧?

很多时候,我们因为一些人而感到悲伤,或是难过,或是愤怒,或是厌弃,殊不知真正关心我们的人正等着我们去关心,我们却把心思放在让我们不愉快的人。

对于我们的心情与生活,我们真的懂得权衡轻重吗?我不也是其中之一吗?

我是不是也该想想什么人才是真正关心我的,然后放下不懂得珍惜我的人呢?还是,我应该选择放下一切,寻找解脱呢?

我再度感觉迷失了……

04.11.2018

林顺源

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